...And 'They' say I am Empowered
Once upon a time there was a GIRL. Since her childhood she had been told that she was lucky to be born in a house where education was given utmost importance (proof: her grandmother has an M.A in History and her mother works as an English Professor). Yes indeed she was lucky, she was lucky that she wasn‟t fed crushed glass or poisoned milk when she was in her mother‟s womb. Although, after her birth she was at times taunted for her dark skin. They told her it‟s a drawback for girls to be anything less than as white as milk. Nevertheless, she grew up into a young woman who was very focused on getting a good education and reaching the zenith of success. Her „educated‟ family wanted her to become an engineer because being an engineer could really improve her chances of getting married to a „good‟ groom, one whose dowry demands would not touch a crore.She was always told that she belonged to the empowered lot. She tell us how is it being the chosen one…
“When I was little, I used to go with my mother and sister to my mom‟s college for get-togethers. We could never stay there for long i.e. after 8, in case we wanted to we had to search for a family or a man who could escort us back safely to home...and at times these generous people helping a lady and her two little daughters in distress used to drop us few blocks from home and then we literally used to walk like thieves so that no one would notice our presence on the road…
And still I was told that I am empowered.
I remember people telling me that be bold and never feel threatened by miscreants then why was I told to stay away from the roads ruled by hooligans?
And then also they told me that I am empowered. Did they allow me to move around all by myself without being escorted by a man?
I still remember that every time I left home I was advised to carry a stole and in a way that will hide my sexuality. I wanted to flaunt my new top, but did I have a choice?
And then also they told me that I am empowered, I was allowed to wear T-shirts and tops.
I remember whenever we used to travel alone, the three of us, me, mom and sis… We could never tell strangers our real names nor could we befriend them… We felt bored but could not approach any stranger for the fear of being stalked and taken advantage of.
And then also they told me that I am empowered, I was given the liberty to travel.
I vividly recall the times when in order to catch a train scheduled for 11 PM in the night, we had to leave for the station by 7:00-7:30, firstly to increase our chances of reaching the station safely and secondly to find a place in the ladies' waiting room. The waiting room would be locked after 8; I still haven‟t found any logic behind this act!
And then also they told me that I am empowered, I could afford travelling in trains.
I also recall the times when we had to do morning journeys to new places to avoid staying in hotels because three women staying alone in a hotel room in a small city could invite trouble.
And then also they told me that I am empowered. I could still dream of living in hotels.
Then, when I moved out of home to join college, I thought things would change. They did but not as much as I had expected. We were told to dress decently (a subtle way of telling us that our professors considered Capri and sleeveless tops a little too explicit and also to make our dressing sense an excuse to mess with our grades, forget being in their good books).
And then also they told me that I am empowered, I had a chance to avail higher education.
I joined college with an impression that we would get the freedom to move around in the campus, work in labs throughout the day and night, do group studies but to my dismay I was confined in a hostel that had an in-time restriction. Why so? If I am not safe in my college campus then what more is left for me to say!
And then also „they‟ told me that I am empowered, I had the privilege of staying outside the boundaries of home.
I don‟t know what is the definition of being empowered? Is it just getting a chance of living my life but according to their rules or actually living it? What is the point of being empowered if I am under constant surveillance and accountable to someone for every small decision taken by me. I have heard loads of profanities greeting married women who choose to have safe sex and go to shops to buy condoms. Leave the ones who drink, smoke and enjoy, they are always branded as sluts. Why?I feel suffocated and burdened by the weight of restrictions that have been imposed on me, by the pressure of being judged for every step I take.
And they still say that I am empowered.
I wonder! How? ”
(Referenece - The seeker)
hmmm....
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